Never Sad Again
Democrats have control of the House and the Senate! And while we were still rejoicing, Rumsfeld resigned, and made it that much sweeter. That second day, I decided, I would never feel sad again. This was a conscious decision, because the other thing that happened to me on Election day was a call from the doctor - a "shadow" on my mammogram. A requirement to get another mammogram promptly, and a jolt of physical fear to go with the jolt of political joy.
As I calmed myself with the mantra, "could be nothing, could be nothing", I thought of my almost-grown son as a nursing infant on that breast. Wept. Then, irrationally, I thought, "If losing a breast is the cost of winning the election, that's a price I'm willing to pay."
It's a strange condition, connecting two dots that don't logically connect, but it's secure here. I feel like a warrior, connecting my possible disease to a vital step towards saving everything. Saying, OK, if this is what I sacrifice for the safety of the world, I can gladly give up a breast. And never be sad again.
posted by sparklebelly @ 5:29 PM
3 Comments:
I am trying to wrap my mind around this news. I am trying to connect your comment about the sacrifice to something that is not touching me personally. Your comment reminds me of one of the main characters in the movie "The Milagro Beanfield Wars". He was a very spiritual person, like you, who decided that the only way to end the conflict in the story was with a "sacrifice". And because of his courage, that logical sacrifice would have something to do with him. Symbolically I understand this, emotionally I protest the need for someone I love to be a sacrifice. I know you are going to ok. I'm going to be repeating the mantra "it's nothing, it's nothing", because I don't care about the damn election, politicians will come and go, but you, my dear friend are irreplaceable.
You have found an amazing way to wrap your head around this. You always seem to have a smile on your face, a peaceful demeanor and wonderful creative projects underway. Maybe because of those things, I had no idea you were dealing with this difficult news. I hope by now you have received only good news.
Kate C
This is amazing my dear sparklebelly. I read once that when you focus on positive energy it attracts more energy of its kind. I am so happy that you won the elections and the breast :-)
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